if i could know within my heart
by ulstergirl
Summary: Written for Nancy Drew Yuletide 2013. Prompt: Nancy is dating Frank H. They go to a holiday dance in River Heights where Ned, who Nancy's never met before, cuts in. Set during the Korean War era.


**This story is set in the early 1950s, during the Korean War era.**

* * *

"Oh, Nancy. You look so beautiful." Bess grinned as Nancy did a slow spin in her bedroom, showing off the gown she had selected for the River Heights Country Club Winter Wonderland dance. Befitting the theme, the gown was a frothy white, embellished with a scatter of rhinestone snowflakes. The tiara was too much for it, Nancy thought; she preferred her blonde curls unadorned, but a rhinestone clip would be suitable.

"I suppose it will do. Thank you, Bess."

"And that dress is sure to make thoughts of matrimony ring in Frank's head."

Nancy gasped. "Bess, please."

Bess smiled. "Surely you thought of that," she said, her blue eyes gleaming. "Back from the war after two years, a hero? I'm surprised he didn't get down on one knee as soon as he walked off the plane."

Nancy hid the blush in her cheeks as she looked at her reflection more critically. Despite what Bess thought, Nancy hadn't had any such thoughts on her mind when she had picked out the gown. She was stubborn, and she didn't want to admit that Frank might see the gown that way—but if he did?

Nancy chastised herself. The gown was beautiful and it coordinated well with the theme of the evening. She would be unlikely to find something so perfect this late, even if she did decide to return the gown and find another.

Her stomach still flipped, though.

"Please stop teasing," Nancy said, shaking her head. "Be serious. Have you picked out your gown yet?"

Bess nodded eagerly. "Yes. It's a lovely midnight velvet, with plenty of room in the skirt." She sighed as she patted her belly. "Maybe at next year's dance, I'll be able to wear something as form-fitting as you."

Nancy shook her head and gave Bess a fond smile. "Honey, don't listen to George. You look beautiful. I'm sure your card will be full before the first dance is even called."

Bess tilted her head when Nancy offered her the tiara. "Would you like to wear it?"

Bess glanced once from the rhinestone circlet to Nancy, then back again. Nancy moved away from the mirror, letting Bess see herself with the miniature crown.

It would be perfect, wouldn't it? That was what Bess was saying. She and Frank had dated for a year before he had joined the Air Force, and he had just returned after a two-year tour. He was twenty-one, and he would want to settle down. And that was what she should want, too.

But the thought didn't warm her. Instead, a chill swept over her.

* * *

"Welcome back! Let me shake your hand, hero."

Frank wore a black tailcoat with tie, as the dress code required, but he had added his military rank and insignia, and they had been stopped by many other veterans. Frank and his brother Joe needed little urging to talk about their service, and by then Nancy knew it by heart. Frank had started on a F-82 Twin Mustang, but his last craft had been a F-86 Sabre. She had been proud of him when he had written to her to tell her about what he was doing in Korea, and she had been proud, if a little surprised, to see him tonight in what he called his dress uniform.

Despite the letters they had shared, his service still felt like a part of his life she didn't really know, and more than once he had cut himself off mid-story, editing it for her, deeming it less than appropriate for her ears.

She supposed she should be glad. Her father had told her that the battlefield was its own hell, something he wouldn't wish on his worst enemy.

Then Frank turned to her, smiling, and Nancy smiled easily up at him. He really was handsome, and able to keep up with her; they had been friends for a long time before they had begun dating, she and Frank, and their fathers were old friends. Nancy knew she shouldn't be surprised that the prospect of matrimony was on Bess's mind, even if it wasn't on her own.

Maybe the novelty of the idea had made her anxious, Nancy thought. After all, imagining herself with someone else was difficult.

Imagining herself married to Frank, though, was harder.

"Punch, sweetheart?"

Nancy nodded and smiled again, sinking gratefully into a chair as Frank crossed the room to the refreshments table. Joe wore his dress outfit as well, and Bess was dancing with him; from the looks of it, Nancy's friend was having the time of her life.

Then Nancy looked over at her father. He wore his usual immaculate tuxedo, and he stood beside another table, a cup of punch in his hand. Her father had always been fond of Frank, and part of the reason she had been so comfortable with Frank as her escort for so long had been her father's approval.

She was just being silly, Nancy told herself firmly. She hadn't seen Frank in a while, and soon he would be helping her with another mystery, and everything would be just the same as it had been again.

At least, she hoped it would.

People had already begun asking her when she was going to settle down, and she had always responded the same way: not yet. She hadn't considered it, hadn't wanted it. The idea of being free for the rest of her life appealed to her far more than the idea of a household of her own to run. She could happily run her father's home for him, leaving it in Hannah's capable hands while she was traveling to solve cases. She would leave the breathless wedding planning to Bess and her own beau, who would be far happier in that kind of life anyway.

Frank was stopped four times before he returned to her with the punch; he gave her an apologetic smile. "Sorry, sweetheart. I hope you weren't terribly thirsty."

"I'll be fine," she told him with a smile. The punch was sweet and chilled, and she drained most of the glass immediately. A trace of condensation remained on her glove as she put the cup down.

Then the first dance was called, and Nancy rose on her heels, willingly following Frank out onto the dance floor.

Outside the weather was cold and windy, a breath of frost and ice in the air; inside, Frank's arms and eyes were warm, and Nancy was happy to sway with him, his hand warm and decorously high on her waist, the other clasped in her own. "Have I told you how absolutely beautiful you look tonight, Nancy?"

She smiled at him. "You might have mentioned it, a time or two. You look very handsome tonight, too."

He smiled at her. "Being away from you for so long... it's really made me think," he said, gazing earnestly into her eyes, and Nancy's heart rose in her throat so high she wondered if she was going to be sick. "I missed having adventures with you. I missed you a lot, Nancy."

She smiled. "I've missed you too, Frank. I'm glad you're back home and safe again."

Frank nodded, his gaze still on hers, but then he swallowed and the moment passed. Nancy's attention returned to her dancing, as she told herself fiercely to calm down. She felt so tense, though, so nervous, that she didn't know what to do. So she fell back on the lessons she had been taught all her life, how to behave and be polite and charming, and her steps were flawless. She was afraid to think; she was afraid that he would somehow pick up on what she was thinking about.

The next dance required more concentration, and at the end of it she and Frank were laughing at how many times they had mixed up their steps and nearly crashed into each other. That was when she began to feel it, a strange sensation that sent a warm shiver down her spine. She had been trying to relax, and had mostly succeeded, but when she felt it, her stomach flipped again.

At the beginning of the following dance, Frank was just slipping his arms around her when someone tapped him on the shoulder. "Mind if I cut in?"

Frank glanced up. "Well, I _do_," he said with a smile, "but I suppose I can allow it just once."

"Miss?"

Nancy looked up into a pair of warm, dark eyes, and she felt her heart skip a beat. He didn't have his arms out yet; he was asking her permission, too. "Okay," she said softly.

Once Frank had released her, Nancy allowed the stranger to put his arms around her. He kept a polite distance between them, which pleased her. "I don't believe we've met," she said.

"I don't believe we have, either."

"Miss Nancy Drew."

"Ned Nickerson," he told her, although he paused slightly before he said his name. She wondered why. "It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, miss."

Nancy nodded and smiled, looking up into his eyes. His eyes were dark; his hair was dark and neatly trimmed. His jaw was square, and he was a head taller than she even in her heels; his shoulders were broad. He was very handsome.

None of that explained the breathlessness she felt when their gazes met. She felt pleasantly electrified, and that fluttering was back in her stomach; the anxiety wasn't welcome, but it felt almost sweet.

"So what brings you to the dance tonight?"

He smiled, bringing a soft curve to his generous lips. "What would you say if I told you I came here to find a Cinderella?"

"I would wish you luck," she replied promptly. "And suggest that you dance with my friend, Miss Bess Marvin, who would undoubtedly love to make your acquaintance."

"She doesn't happen to be your twin, Miss Drew?"

Nancy shook her head. She could tell that she was blushing, but she wasn't sure why. "No."

Mr. Nickerson's hand was no lower than etiquette dictated, but she could feel the warmth of his touch very clearly through her dress; she was almost uncomfortably aware of _him_. "So your escort is the war hero."

His voice was even, but Nancy caught some expression in his eyes that she didn't know him well enough to interpret. Were he anyone else, she would say it was almost sardonic. "He served in the Air Force, yes."

"Finished his tour, or home to sweep you off your feet before he returns for good?"

His questions were bordering on impertinent, but his expression and tone were still unfailingly polite. Nancy swallowed before answering, still gazing curiously at him. "He's finished his tour," she said. "As to sweeping me off my feet..." Nancy trailed off, unsure of how to finish the statement.

Ned smiled again. "Why don't you tell me about yourself, Miss Drew?"

She raised her eyebrows slightly. It had been a long time since she had needed to introduce herself to anyone at a River Heights Country Club dance, given her reputation locally. "I'm twenty."

"Twenty-three," he mentioned, almost offhand.

She chuckled when he tilted his head, gesturing for her to continue. "I'm perfectly ordinary," she told him, curiosity coloring her own voice. "I like to go driving, to see movies and plays, to go dancing. And I enjoy solving mysteries."

Ned nodded, as though her comment had been the most natural thing in the world. "Mystery novels? Puzzles?"

"Well, those too, but real-life mysteries."

Ned's eyebrows rose slightly. "Like what? That sounds very exciting."

The dance he had claimed had ended, the next one was beginning; in her peripheral vision, Nancy could see Frank approaching. "Maybe I could tell you more a little later?" she suggested. "My—my escort is returning."

Ned smiled. "I didn't think he was your fiancé," he commented, so quietly it was almost under his breath.

"Oh? Why?"

"Because if you were my fiancé, I would not part so easily from you, for a dance or anything else." He took her hand and kissed her knuckles. "I'll see you again in three dances, Miss Drew."

Nancy's blush deepened a shade. "If you have any desire," she said, nodding to her right, "my friend, Miss Marvin, is in the dark-blue velvet with the tiara."

Ned took her suggestion and danced with Bess; Nancy couldn't help keeping an eye on him, as she swayed on the floor with Frank. She had forgotten how uncomfortable this particular pair of pumps could be after standing on them for too long, though, so she asked to sit down for the next dance.

"So I see you've made an admirer in Lieutenant Nickerson."

Nancy's eyebrows were up when she turned to Frank. "Lieutenant? Do you know him? Did you two serve together?"

Frank shook his head, adjusting his polished cufflink before looking into her face again. "No—in a manner of speaking, anyway. He's an officer in the Navy. Served aboard the _Gladiator._ Sweeping for mines."

"Oh." Nancy glanced over at him again, then back to Frank quickly when she saw that he was looking in her direction, too. An officer. Frank was an enlisted man. "How did you find that out?"

"His parents. I ran into them at the refreshments table. They're very proud of him." Frank smiled. "I'm sorry your feet are bothering you, dear."

Nancy smiled at him. "Would you mind terribly bringing me another glass of punch, Frank? Thank you so much."

By the time Ned's claimed dance came, Nancy was feeling anxious again. She danced the one before it with Frank, just to reassure him; then she felt Ned's warm hand on her shoulder, and she had to force herself not to whirl to him immediately.

"Hello again," she said. "Lieutenant."

"Jay-gee," Ned added. "Junior grade. You really are a detective, aren't you."

Nancy smiled. "At your service," she said. She felt exhilarated and nervous and almost a little cautious, all at once. "If you've misplaced any wills or family heirlooms, if you fear you're being stalked by a doppelgänger, if someone's swindled one of your loved ones out of a treasured inheritance, I'm your girl."

"That's an impressive resumé. Any experience finding mines?"

He was teasing her a little. She could see it in his eyes. "No, but I'd give it a valiant effort," she said. "I'm a quick study."

"I'm sure you are," he said with a smile. "I can't say I've ever met a detective before, Miss Drew. I'm very glad we were able to meet tonight."

She gave him a small smile. "You sound rather like you have some internal scavenger hunt going on," she commented.

"If you're also a sword swallower with six toes on your left foot, maybe I am," he teased her back.

"So why don't you tell me about yourself?"

Ned leaned in close to her. She felt his breath against her ear, warm, sending a shiver down her spine. "You're the detective," he murmured. "And I rather like the idea of being a mystery you might solve."

When he pulled back, she expected to see a smile on his face, but it was small. The expression in his dark eyes was intense.

_Why me?_ she wanted to ask, but when she searched his eyes it didn't matter. She found him fascinating, and his interest in her was both obvious and flattering. He was a good dancer. And, while her mysteries had allowed her to meet many interesting, exciting people, this felt like more.

"Are you very mysterious, Mr. Nickerson?"

"Not mysterious enough, I fear," he said, and his smile widened a little. "But if I find a mystery on board the _Gladiator_..."

"I've never solved a mystery on a Navy ship before."

"Now _you're_ the one who sounds like she's on a scavenger hunt. Any mysteries on boats?"

She nodded, smiling. "A showboat, a schooner, a yacht," she replied.

"So you're probably a good sailor, eh?"

"I know the jib sheet from the foresail, if that's what you mean."

He grinned. "I think you're the real mystery, Miss Drew."

She shook her head. "I'm nothing special," she replied, and she could feel that she was blushing a little.

He shook his head, too. "Now that definitely isn't true."

They parted again, but not before he had asked her to promise him another dance. Nancy returned to Frank and resolutely did not look in Ned's direction, did not, did not. For at least two minutes. Then she caught him looking over at her.

When she turned back to Frank, she saw an uncertain look in his eyes. "He made an impression, did he?"

Nancy smiled and patted Frank's hand. "He's very charming," she said. "But you don't need to worry, Frank. I already have a handsome hero of my own."

Frank visibly relaxed, his own expression softening into a smile. "I... we were interrupted earlier."

Nancy looked down at her gloved hands for a second, then began to strip them off. A small smile crossed her lips. "Were we?" she asked, her tone neutral.

Frank nodded, then searched her eyes.

"Frank, I want you to know that I care for you very much," she told him. "We _have_ had many adventures, you and I, and I'd love for us to have many more."

He nodded, then touched her hand.

Nancy swallowed, then continued. "I am content with my life the way it is," she told him. "I'm happy. I hope that you are too."

"I am," Frank told her. "I am happy. I think you're a very special girl, Nancy Drew."

Nancy smiled and shook her head. "I'm not," she told him. "Except that I am very happy with my freedom."

Frank's thumb gently stroked her knuckle, his gaze searching hers.

"The way I feel right now, I would be very pleased to be this way the rest of my life," she told him. "When we're eighty years old, to be your friend and have you by my side so we can solve mysteries together."

That wary look was in Frank's eyes again, and she could sense that she had hurt him a little. Her heart sank. "That would be a miracle," he joked. "Eighty years old, still tracking down 'ghosts' and treasures."

Nancy grinned, though. "It would be a miracle," she said happily.

Frank shook his head, chuckling. "Deny it all you want, but there will never be another girl like you," he told her. "And I'm honored to call myself your friend, Nancy Drew."

He stood and offered her his hand, and she accepted it. "And I'm honored to be your friend, too."

The dance Ned claimed was the last dance of the evening, and when he returned to Nancy to ask for her hand again, the tightness in her chest was gone. She was happy; she felt light and free. She hated the thought that she had hurt Frank at all, but she hoped it hadn't been too painful for him—and that she hadn't waited too long to say the words. They had all been true, though.

"Last dance of the evening," Ned said, regret in his voice. "I know it can't possibly last long enough."

"It never does," Nancy pointed out lightly. "When the dance is wonderful, the last one is never long enough; when it's a bore, the last dance is an hour long."

"If that's true, we only have a few seconds left," Ned said with a smile. "I've thoroughly enjoyed it."

"As have I."

Ned was quiet for a moment. "I know I should make the most of the time we have left, but I find myself at a loss," he said softly. "I wish I could make another date with you. Get to know you better. I haven't met anyone so fascinating in a long while."

Nancy patted his shoulder gently. "Do you already have a sweetheart, then, who becomes jealous easily?"

"You could say that," he said. "If her name was the United States Navy."

Nancy smiled. "I'm sure she would be jealous."

Ned's gaze stayed on hers until she felt herself begin to blush again. "I don't want tonight to end," he murmured.

"I thought you were looking for a Cinderella?" Nancy said with a smile.

"In a manner of speaking," he replied. "But then I'm the one who will be leaving soon. At least my coach won't turn into a pumpkin."

Nancy smiled at the mental image. "You're leaving soon?" she asked, the smile fading.

He nodded. "I am," he said. "Do your mysteries take you out of the States?"

She nodded. "Sometimes they do."

"Have you been to Japan?"

"Once," Nancy said. "I'd like to go back. I love to travel."

Ned smiled again. "I suppose it would be too much of a coincidence, to run into you there," he said.

"Is that where you'll be stationed?"

He nodded. "Soon."

Nancy's heart sank as she heard the song begin to end. She understood exactly what he had meant; she didn't want the song, the dance, the night to end either. "Mr. Nickerson?"

"Miss Drew," Ned said, as their steps began to slow.

"May I ask you a favor?"

He nodded.

"Another dance," she said.

"When? Tonight? I wish we could."

She shook her head. "The next time we see each other," she said.

"And when will that be?"

She smiled. "I think you said something about being a mystery for me," she replied.

He dipped his head. "I did," he murmured, his voice low. "May I write to you, Miss Drew? So I can let you know when we might have another opportunity to dance together."

She nodded. "You may," she said, her tone so serious it was almost grave, but her eyes were sparkling.

When the last note played, Ned released her, then reached for her hand, bringing it to his lips. "Well. Until next time, Princess Charming," he told her, then kissed her knuckles.

She gave him a small grin. "Until next time," she told him. "I very much enjoyed meeting you, Lieutenant."

When Nancy returned home that night, after Frank had escorted her to her father's front door and had given her a chaste kiss on the cheek, she didn't feel the lateness of the hour at all; she was as wide-awake as she would have been at noon. She fairly danced up the stairs and to her room, kicking off her dressy pumps, twirling so her skirt flared out around her. She couldn't help giggling with delight when she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror; the young woman she saw there wasn't anxious and sad. She was exhilarated at the thought of the future, of the possibilities.

And she knew she would be checking the mail every day, breathlessly, until Ned's first letter arrived.

* * *

"You look beautiful."

Frank Hardy wore his dress uniform again, with his tails and black tie; he looked very handsome, especially in the moonlight. His gaze on her was as adoring as ever, but she could see the bittersweet.

"Thank you. You look very handsome, Frank."

In the distance, the water was black, rippled silver with moonlight. Torches placed at the boundary of the patio did little to dispel the darkness, and the atmosphere was very romantic. Nancy gazed at her dance partner fondly, a small smile on her face.

"It means a lot to me," she told him. "That you're here."

He gave her a small smile. "Only for you," he told her. "Always for you. You know that I'd go to the end of the earth for you, Nancy."

She smiled. "I know," she told him. "It's still very sweet of you, though."

Frank sighed. "I just want you to be happy," he said. "Are you? Truly happy? After what you told me..."

Nancy patted his shoulder. "I am happy," she said. "Very much. Please don't trouble yourself. The only thing that could possibly spoil my happiness today would be knowing you're upset with me."

Frank shook his head. "I'm not upset, not with you. We were young, you and I."

"We still are," she told him with a smile. "And we always will be, so long as we feel that way. Friends?"

"Friends," he replied, with a nod and a smile.

Ned was in full uniform; he looked very stern and imposing, until he looked at Nancy. "Mr. Hardy," he said. "Might I cut in?"

Frank nodded, taking a step back. The song was just ending, but his smile at Nancy was still small. "Take good care of her."

"Always," Ned said, before Nancy walked willingly into his arms, everything else fading to insignificance. The weight of her elaborate wedding gown, the murmurs of the other guests, all of it.

"Is it possible to be happier than this? I don't think it is," she told Ned, smiling up at him. "I am so deliriously happy right now."

Ned smiled at her. "As am I, darling."

She sighed as she rested her head against his shoulder. "Okinawa is very pretty," she murmured. "I think I'm going to like living here very much. It's an adventure."

Ned chuckled softly. "It definitely will be, with you," he murmured, and his palm gently ran up her spine. She shivered against his touch. "I love you very much, Nancy."

She smiled. "And I love you. I love you so much, Ned."

Bess had asked Nancy to toss the bouquet in her direction; she had teased her best friend that after making her fly halfway around the world to see her wedding, it was the least Nancy could do. But, as she and Bess both knew, she had already claimed the perfect husband for her own. After their honeymoon, they would be settling at the base in Okinawa, so Ned could help train recruits. Nancy knew she might be a little homesick, at first anyway, but since Ned had asked her to marry him six months earlier, she had begun to see their life together abroad as an exciting mystery they would share.

She loved him so, so very much. She had fallen in love with him over and over, since the night they had first met, through their letters, during the disappointingly brief visits she had wished would never end.

Ned kissed the soft flesh just below her earlobe. "Well, there's no glass slipper, princess," he murmured. "No fairy godmothers. But I think we've found our happily ever after just the same. Don't you?"

She grinned, tipping her head up to give him a brief, soft kiss. "In every possible way," she replied. "Who could possibly need a fairy godmother, when we have each other?"

He kissed her again. "Not me," he murmured. "I have everything I want right here."

Her grin became a soft smile. "I do too," she murmured. "And I can't wait for our life to begin."


End file.
